It's a Perception Influence that Long Distance Friendships never work!

Long Distance Friendships!!! When you just read this word what comes in your mind in a snap? - Oh bla bla bla, Stay away from it - No way! Yuck - Uhh Man Its never happening to me - Well, Why even even think about it, it never works -

I know you want to say that it sucks! I mean who would want to jeopardize something indefinite and something in front of you for someone you have to work so hard to maintain a long distance friendship or relationship. It would seem absurd to you. You can meet someone with a friend's reference, or meet online, or meet at some event or occasion and get friends. Obviously friendship is a certainty which is bound to happen like any other relationship. You can't just escape it unless you are some working undercover or some secret agent for a president or just another heartless person who lead his/her life mathematically and preplanned.

I feel like an obligation to myself if I ever come across a long distance friendship and even consider special treatment given to my friend on other side to avoid any harsh circumstances or dis-clarity. Again its a faith and trust story. Most often you see long distance friendships never get successful. It is just because you live in an era where you prefer heart over brains and think logistics.

I have a question for all those friends and folks out there who have comments about their long distance friends such as why cast pearls before swine or putting new wine in old bottles. I would like to counter them with the question why trusting them and putting your faith the first time. To work such a relationship you have got to believe and have faith in yourself that you'll make it happen and it was just not an inevitability and now you have to blame yourself, your friend or fate.

You can make it work if you want just like you can with your friends who you hang out with all the time, your colleagues and mates from college. Enough with the heavy guys and let me cut the crap and just come to these points. Do it and I don't see that there is any reason you can't work it out unless the person at that other long distance is douchebag!:

1. Get a clear head by questioning your friends to know the parameters of relations. I believe this would be awkward and difficult but it can save a lot of your precious time in future.

2. More than occasional phone calls, video calls, chat and emails are really important. Do fix one day in a week at least for video calls. This is important.

3. Do things together which can activate both to work on similar interest simultaneously like watching some TV show together, playing any multiplayer game online, keeping a same pet or cooking or eating same food at same time. Tons of thousands of thing. I would not bore you with that in my blog. :)

4. Even in difficult situations try communicating with your friend on any portal just once, even it's for a minute or two. Trust me this is the most positive and trustworthy impact you ever will make.

5. Letting your friend on freewill is crucial. Do not bound his/her to a line where an automated commitment occurs and the chances of level of frustration rises. I am sure you got it all and no explanation needed.

6. Challenge each other to some personality traits. It should be in fun and not a serious game. Stop it right away when it produces heat. This is entirely depending on how strong or weak a relationship it so this point can actually be a lifeline for a long distance relationship. If it works it strengthens your friendship more and if it doesn't the it gets more weak.

7. You can forget birthdays, family events, occasions and dates with your friends living around you. I don't mean that it okay but you can mend it later but it is really important to remember all this in a long distance friendship.

8. Avoid much jealousy and listen and accept his or her other relationships and do not be judgmental about those relationships because you DEFINITELY don't know anything about them.

9. Say positive things all the times and avoid uttering out your shaky thought as this could be very discouraging and demoralizing.

10. Give them a personal object of yours. Something dear to you. You'll see its magic later. :)

11. Never let your friend get solitary or cornered in a time when he /she has lost hope in other connections and make sure you are there for your friend and if your friend is wrong you should not tell about it at that moment. Put some sense afterwards and hit it when the iron is hot.If you don't do this you can lose your friend forever.

12. Try be forgiving as much as possible. Ignore silly mistakes and fun making and don't take anything on your heart. Forget and forgive is the greatest key I can ever find in a nice working relationship.

 13. A little absence, gap makes you much fonder whenever there is a recent hard talk happened. It gives both of you time and space to rejuvenate and restore.

14. Obviously it is a long distance friendship and the chances of being together are rare so when you meet try all possible chances to be intimate and give private time. Do keep a time to have reunion with other friends and people but make sure you are keeping your friend's interest intact but it's better to keep most your time private for your friend.

Have a blessed life and all the best if anyone of you out is having a long distance friendship or relationship. Good Luck!

Grief is Something Undeniable

This has got nothing to do with me particularly but actually it do relates to everyone of us. Grief is a sense which is understandable as you come in a much groomed and mature part of your life. You cannot deny the fact the every human being in this world exists with a feeling and sense of grief in his or her personality. We wish to stay away from it for eternity but it has always a part of mankind.

Anyway the whole theme is not to get introduced with what grieving can make you become or what it does. We will today discuss about it universally known 7 stages and describe them one by one. Don't blame it on me you HAPPY PEOPLE out there but trust me there are people who genuinely want to know more about it so that they could prevent and get a curable catharsis for themselves because comfort would not have been there is grief was not like some wise have said, "An absence of nothing is everything", "absence of light is dark" and "absence of good is evil".

Here you go with the 7 Stages of Grieving:

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-

You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.



2. PAIN & GUILT-

As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-

Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")




4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-

Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.


5. THE UPWARD TURN-

As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.








6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-

During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.


This is definitely depressing but it also shows and tells you how beautiful, full of energy and a great vibe life is. Get back to life people. Nobody helps and nobody will seek it for you. You have to do it yourself. We just told you in means of pushing you that YOU CAN DO IT. Just that!

Check this video out. It would be a pleasant effect on you: